I’ve been hearing some buzz about Dr Justin Coulson’s newest book “21 Days to a Happier Family” so I decided to give it a read for myself. I found it quite an interesting read, it’s always fascinating to hear people’s opinions on raising children as everyone comes at it from a different angle and perspective.
I’ve taken away a few good pointers and tips for when it comes to raising Star Boy as he ages. The discussion around discipline was quite good it talks about discipline as being teaching and instruction not punishment, our aim should be not to punish but to teach our children good ways to act. Punishment and rewards ignore the root of the problem and focus only on short-term results. Instead, seek collaboration, perspective, understanding and problem-solving.
Children emotions can become quite contagious, we can and do catch our children emotions and they can catch ours. So to effectively discipline – that is, effective teaching and instruction – we cannot do this when emotions are high so we need to wait till the heat is out of the situation before we tackle that side of things.
One point that really struck me was young children are prevented from doing something they want to do every few minutes – of course this is understandable for safety – but the most common reason we say ‘No’ is what is convenient for us as parents rather than our children’s protection. I know I’ve done this with my niece and nephews at some points, I’ve said no to them doing things because I was tired or just couldn’t really be bothered with what they wanted to do.
I don’t feel all the points in this book would work for every family as everyone is different and have different circumstances in life but I do feel it gives you a good insight and tips into what could help your family become happier. If there is only one point from the book to take away it’s this: “If you can only do one thing as a parent, be emotionally available”, because really that’s all that our children really want/need is us, they just want our love and attention.
What parenting tips have you found helpful with your family?
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