Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Broken


"It's not a continuing pregnancy"

Those words just rang in my ears over and over.

"It's not a continuing pregnancy"

Is she really saying those words????

Yes the doctor was saying those dreaded words.

4:30pm Thursday 13th February 2014 - my life changed forever.

I was no longer 9.5 weeks pregnant - the baby was gone, it was over.

Right in that moment I felt my heart break and then the tears fell.

My baby was gone, it's not going to arrive on the 12th September 2014, it's never going to arrive.

Miscarriage is one of the toughest things in life. How do you cope? You don't, you just try to survive each day and grieve in your own way.

Yes we can try again in the future, but right now, this baby is important, this baby is our focus and we need to grieve and then down the track  focus on trying again.

It's been mental torture seeing blood for 2 weeks knowing that was your baby. Last Friday (21st Feb) I had what was left removed. I was relieved to have it all taken out but it also meant it was truly real and truly gone.

There was nothing I did wrong to cause the miscarriage, apparently the placenta didn't attach properly and there was haemorrhage underneath the placenta and it detached causing the baby to lose nutrients and die. It's common I've been told 1 in 4 women miscarry, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I'm lucky in a sense it wasn't later down the track and more developed but it still stings.

It's been a hard thing to process and wrap your head around. My depression and anxiety have been playing up a lot but I know with MJ's (my husband) and God's help I'll get there one day.

In the meantime I'll always hold a special place for Milhouse (our little nickname for the baby) in my heart, cause for 41 days it was a part of me.

Sunday, 9 February 2014

Gluten Free 21st Chocolate Cake

My brother-in-law just recently turned 21 and last night was his 21st birthday party. He asked me if I could make him a birthday cake. Of course I didn't mind but it had to be gluten/dairy free as he has just recently had to go both gluten/dairy free.

Woolworths last week thankfully had their Marco brand gluten-free chocolate cake mix on 1/2 price special - bonus. So I nabbed 2 boxes and Friday night set to work baking a cake.


I normally like to cook from scratch and not use box mixes but after a long week at work having suffered headaches most of the week it was nice to just tip a box upside down and add some water and eggs.


I baked the cake in a deep square dish and then once cool cut it through the centre to get 2 layers. I mixed up some dairy-free chocolate buttercream using dairy-free butter, icing sugar, cocoa powder and a splash of soy milk. Layered a lovely helping of buttercream in-between the 2 layers and then coated the outside of the cake with the rest of the buttercream (except for the spoonful that ended up in my mouth at the end - haaaa). I wanted the buttercream to act as moisture for the cake as gluten-free cakes have a tendency to dry out. I then stored the cake in the fridge overnight.



Saturday afternoon (cause I was in the city having High Tea with my mum during the day) I set out to work on the fondant details.


I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do but after a quick look at Pinterest during the week I got some ideas and used different methods from different cakes mixed with my own ideas to come up with the end result.

The end result - the birthday boy was very happy!!!!! Yeah!!!!!



Monday, 3 February 2014

DIY - Peppa Pig Cookies

Yesterday was my niece's 2nd birthday and my niece loves Peppa Pig. So as a request from my sister-in-law I set out to make dairy-free Peppa Pig cookies as she wanted them to go with the Peppa Pig birthday cake she was making.

I used a Donna Hay gingerbread cookie recipe and substituted dairy-free butter as my little niece is dairy intolerant. I had the adults saying "we want these cookies, they're too good for the kids" - that's a good complement.

I bought a Peppa Pig cookie cutter at my local cake decorating shop then I coloured some white fondant pale pink and use the cookie cutter to cut out Peppa's face. I then used a piping tip to cut out some darker pink circle for Peppa's checks and used white fondant for her eyes. For Peppa's pupils I used black edible marker and red writing icing (bought at Woolworths) for Peppa's mouth.

It didn't take me long to create Peppa and I'm pleased that they looked very much like Peppa Pig and let's just say the birthday girl was very happy, which that was the main thing.











My sister-in-law did an awesome job on the cake

For gingerbread recipe see here

This is what we bought the gorgeous little girl for her birthday.



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